As some of you know, my husband and I have been involved in teaching Marriage Preparation courses for almost as long as we’ve been married. At first we assisted a leader couple by giving the talks on sexuality, and after a number of years we felt confident enough to teach the course on our own. It’s rewarding and challenging, and we always feel honored to be a part of the beginning of these couples’ journey together.
As Catholics, it is customary for couples who plan to marry in the church to attend a marriage preparation course. Many people believe that it is a requirement in order to get married, however that’s not quite true. After all, every couple has a right to be married, provided they aren’t any barriers (such as being already married) that would make it impossible to do so. It is simply the Church, in her wisdom of the ages and knowing that marriage is super hard, wanting to give her children the best possible preparation for this commitment. And so every parish around the world will offer some sort of a premarital course to engaged couples.
Outside of religious institutions, most of whom understand the value and importance of proper preparation, it’s never made sense to me that a couple planning to spend the rest of their lives together wouldn’t dedicate some amount of time and effort to learning what it is they’re signing up for. In any other sphere of life, study and preparation is required. It takes at least 12 years to obtain what we consider a basic education, and then a few more to actually be considered good enough to practice a particular profession. But somehow, when it comes to marriage and kids, many believe that they’ll just figure it out as it happens. But take a quick look at the divorce stats and the sheer number of unhappy marriages around you, and you’ll realize that something is clearly not quite working.
And yes, I know that you can’t learn everything or that life won’t throw you many unexpected curveballs (trust me, I know). But even knowing this can help you to weather the unexpected. What’s more, since marriage is as old as humanity, there are foundational truths (ie. do’s and don’ts) that are incredibly beneficial to apply to our own relationship. I’m a big fan of not reinventing the wheel if at all possible. Especially if it’s painful.
As we’ve been teaching throughout the years, I often find myself wishing that the couples sitting in front of me would have learned a lot of what we teach before the engagement. Also, I always wish we had more time to unpack a lot of the truth bombs that we drop during our short time together. There’s so much that our faith teaches that a) I wish everyone knew because it’s awesome, and b) it’s so countercultural so as to border on offensive to secular ears. So I’ve decided to use my trusty blog to work through some of the topics we cover in the hopes that I’ll be better able to express them. I suppose this is my very long and winded way to introduce my new series on Marriage Preparation!
Anti-plagiarism caveat: Please note I don’t really come up with any new ideas. I am merely the messenger of the wisdom of others. What I can say is that we have stress-tested these teachings in our marriage and they hold true. And so I’m passionate to share them with others.
I’m excited to embark on this journey, and I’m even more excited to be joined by you, dear reader!
