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I have never been into making resolutions. It’s probably because I have such a poor track record of accomplishing big goals that the last thing I need is a visual reminder of all the goals I’m not “crushing”. Over the last year or two, however, I’ve felt the need to become more intentional about my life. Perhaps it’s because I recently joined the 40s club, and it’s given me an existential crisis – where am I, where have I been and where am I going? Or perhaps it’s because my kids are getting older and I’m no longer on survival mode. Therefore I have more time to reflect and make some longer term goals. Whatever the reason, making resolutions for this new year is making sense to me. You can tell I’m new at this, for it’s already the end of January and I’m still in goal setting mode. Oh well. Baby steps! So here they are – many of them are half-baked but I won’t let that stop me!
Spiritual life. Life has shown me that unless I put God first, nothing else matters or even works. I want to continue with my morning prayers, daily medidation and spiritual reading. I’m now reading With God in Russia, the prequel to He Leadeth Me, which I finished reading at Christmas. More than anything, I want to have complete trust in God – in all the big things and all the little things. There’s an old saying that goes “pray as if everything depended on God, and work as if everything depended on you”. That will be my motto this year.
Marriage. I am thoroughly enjoying my weekly nightly walks with my husband. My oldest son turns 12 in March, which means that we’ll be able to go out on dates without needing a babysitter. YIPEEE! One of the downsides of homeschooling, or perhaps the way I homeschool, is that I give so much of myself during the day that there is very little left for my husband at night. Yet I firmly believe that a happy marriage is the best gift I could give my children, so I need to walk that talk. Note to self: husband before kids. Husband before kids.
Self-care. I’ve often confused this phrase with selfishness. Yet countless of burnout episodes have taught me that unless I take care of myself, I can’t be the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I need/want to be. Right now, self-care includes waking up early to enjoy a hot cup of coffee and an hour to myself before the kids make their loud, hungry appearance. Of course this requires having the discipline to go to bed early because this momma needs her 8 hours of sleep or else. Self-care also includes indulging in my guilty pleasures, such as reading bubblegum books (a la Crazy Rich Asians) and watching British actors do their thing; any Poldark and Victoria fans out there?
Exercise and nutrition. This also goes under self-care but that paragraph was getting too long. I have such a hate-need relationship with exercise. I have always hated exercising (sad but true), but I desperately need it to function. Now that I’m in my 40s, my body is starting to do wonky things which require vigilant maintenance. I’ve also learned that not exercising takes a physical, mental and emotional toll on me and those unfortunate souls around me. So, I am committing to working out at least 5 days a week. Since my schedule doesn’t allow me to go to classes at the gym, I have signed up for an online subscription called Sweatflix. It’s like Netflix but much more painful. They have a multitude of short workout videos, challenges and programs for every level of fitness. My husband and I are also committing to eating better – jacking up the veggie intake and limiting the sugar and carbs. It sounds easy but it’s not. This sugar lover is dearly missing her 20yr old metabolism. There might be a juice cleanse in my future. Or not.
Parenting. This area is such a moving target. As we enter the early teenage years (gah), I need to better understand this phase so that we all come out alive on the other side. We’ll be taking a teenage parenting course through Family Enrichment which I’m super excited about. I’m a big believer in tackling parenting as the ultimate professional endeavor, with all the training and hard work that entails. Also, a monthly date with each child is something that I’d love to do. I’m always surprised to see how each child thrives with a little one-on-one attention. A friend of mine takes one of her children out for a Saturday morning hot chocolate outing. What a simple and fun idea.
Homeschooling. Ahh, there are SO many resolutions I could make in this area. I can be quite the pessimist, often focusing on what’s missing and what’s wrong rather than celebrating our successes. So more than anything, I’d like to focus on achieving joy and peace in our homeschooling. It sounds vague, but after years of nagging, yelling, rushing and losing it on my poor kids, peace and joy have become key resolutions for me. To this end, I’ve been following the lovely Bonnie Landry at Oh That’s Simple. How I would LOVE to take her Homeschooling with Joy workshop one day! I’ve also found this awesome podcast called Joyfully Homeschooling, where several homeschooling parents share how they insert joy in their day. What would I do without my online homeschooling community?
Friends. My husband and I are incredibly blessed to be surrounded by an amazing network of friends. Yet our busy, hectic lives often prevent us from taking care of these important relationships. This year I want to be more intentional about my friendships. This includes monthly coffee nights with one or two girlfriends a month, and reaching out to one old friend once a week, even if it’s just sending a quick text or email. We also want to start a monthly dinner club. Let’s do this!
Life outside kids. Another thing that happened during my existential crisis was the realization that my kids are not that small anymore. I mean, they’re small, but not physically-demanding-small. For the first time since becoming a parent, I feel the desire and even the need to venture outside of my family. I’m not talking about going to find myself in Europe. I’m talking about doing something creative and hopefully reaching an audience beyond my husband and 4 kids. Writing this blog is the first step in getting this ball rolling, and I’m excited to see where it takes me. So I’m committing to posting at least once a week. I have an idea for a podcast series as well, but this project is nothing but a little embryo in my head. First I need to learn all about podcasting! I’ve been following Lisa Canning, the Possibility Mom, to see what possibilities are out there for me. I’m starting a new stage in life and I’m excited!
Less phone time. I have several bad habits, but my unhealthy attachment to my phone is one of them. When I catch myself mindlessly browsing through my apps, I get really upset for wasting time. So, I need to keep the phone away while homeschooling, stop reaching compulsively for it, and stop browsing at night in bed. I’m always on the kids to limit their screen time, and I need to model this self-control.
Better organization skills. With all these resolutions, I’m going to need be more organized. I’m still on the lookout for an organization tool/planner so that I can keep myself honest this year. I give the kids a daily checklist to accomplish, and they just love checking off those boxes. I need something similar for my short-term and long-term goals. Any suggestions are welcome!
Wow. This list is longer than I envisioned. Now that I’ve put my goals on virtual paper, it’s time to crush them. Here’s to a year full of growth!
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