I meant to publish this post back in July. But then things got crazy and here were are, two months later. Better late than never!
My husband and I just returned from a quick getaway to gorgeous Niagara-on-the-Lake. It was a much-needed break after a hectic school year and before we embark on a three-week family vacation. Which, by the way, we’re super excited about — we’re heading to Quebec and Prince Edward Island! Nevertheless, we will be driving many, many, many hours with children of all ages, stages and temperaments. As Yoda might say, relaxing will not it be. One of my amazing sisters had our two oldest boys for the week, and my other amazing sister offered to care for our two little ones. I found a great hotel deal (thank you Travelzoo), we loaded the bikes, and off we went.
I’ve been wanting to write about the wonders of traveling just with your spouse. And what better opportunity to do so as I’m still basking in the glow of a 45km “bike ride” (quotations because most of the time I could have walked faster). This isn’t the first time I’ve written about the importance of getting away sans enfants; you can check my posts here and here. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I will now expand on the virtues of regular romantic getaways with your beloved.
Rekindle the friendship
Being married to your best friend is a blessing beyond reckoning. Life is hectic and it pulls you in all kinds of directions. In the midst of all the craziness, we often forget to invest in the relationship which matters most on this earth – the one with our spouse. Yes, of course we can and should invest in our friendship on a daily basis. But there’s something about getting away from our regular lives which allows us to slow down and focus on each other. We thoroughly enjoy spending time talking, planning, dreaming, and just being together. We fill up our love tanks and return with a renewed commitment to our vocation as a married couple and as parents.
Rekindle the romance
Before you were parents, you were two. And after the kids grow up and leave the nest, God willing, you will be two again. It’s so easy to forget this fact as you are dealing with countless diapers, tantrums, homework and extracurricular activities. I am especially guilty of this; I get so caught up in my children’s needs and wants that I have often neglected to love my husband. And while certain times (post-birth comes to mind) call for a special focus on your offspring, it is vital to remember to keep the romance alive. I used to think that romance was something that happened spontaneously; after all, it was so easy in the beginning. But I have since learned that like any good thing in life, enjoying a good love life requires dedication and effort. But believe me, it’s not only worth it, it’s key to a happy marriage.
Planning these romantic getaways lets my husband know that I put him first, and that we are definitely more than just friends. There is such a thing as a second, third, fourth, and so on honeymoon — but you have to make it happen.
Enjoy precious, uninterrupted time
Ah…the luxury of an uninterrupted conversation! This is probably the nicest thing about getting away without the kids. Don’t get me wrong; I love that my home is full of life and energy. But sometimes, it is lovely to get through a meal without getting up multiple times, playing referee, or correcting manners. It is very nice to have a long enough conversation with my husband so that we actually get somewhere. Having this time allows us to take a step back, and if needed, discuss certain matters that need time to work through. We very much value having a united front for the kids; spending time alone gives us the ability to work out our differences and remain united.
Pamper yourselves
Everyone deserves a little pampering from time to time. My husband loves a good craft beer so we spent some time enjoying the microbreweries in the area. I spent a glorious afternoon sitting the hotel’s gorgeous patio, enjoying the views of the vineyard and reading a book. We took a nap at the local park and enjoyed delicious meals at fine restaurants. Life is not always about pleasure, but sometimes a little well-earned pleasure goes a long way to replenish the spirit.
Revisit the fun activities of your courtship – or discover new ones!
During the getaways of our early years together, I, being a natural couch potato, used to just want to stroll through cute little shops and sit in cafes for hours at a time. Which is lovely to do, but perhaps not all the time. I have since changed my ways, much to my husband’s relief. Our motto now is Carpe Diem – Seize the Day! We’ve taken to biking, hiking, and canoeing. Not only does it feel amazing to enjoy the outdoors, but all that exercising gives us permission to heartily enjoy a good meal, including dessert! Whatever it is that strikes your fancy, take the time to seize the day and have a ton of fun together.
Logistics schlogistics
It’s not easy planning a getaway for two, especially if you have a little brood of children. We are very fortunate because I have family nearby who are happy to care for our kids. I used to feel bad about asking them, because, let’s face it, it’s a lot to ask. But when I think about it, the benefits far outweigh the costs. A happy, renewed marriage is a good which is shared by the children, the extended family and society. The children have the opportunity to develop their own relationships with their caregivers, whether it’s grandparents, aunts, uncles or family friends. If you don’t have family close by, I encourage you to seek friends, and perhaps enter into a kid-swapping arrangement. Don’t wait for people to offer childcare; everyone is too busy for that. My experience is that once we ask, most will bend over backwards to help us.
Can we afford it?
Finances are always a concern. In order to keep costs manageable, I try to join my husband during one of his work trips at least once a year. This way, his airfare and hotel are covered. Or, I always look for discount deals at any of the pretty towns within driving distance of home. Groupon or Travelzoo, anyone? But I try not to sweat the spending because, as a friend once eloquently put it, a trip is much cheaper than a divorce. ‘Nuff said.
So, dear friends, I hope that I have encouraged you to give this couples getaway idea a try. Trust me, you won’t regret it! And if you do enjoy regular getaways, I’d love suggestions for creative, affordable trips.
