Category: Marriage

Marriage, Marriage Preparation

How to Save your Marriage Before it Begins

Melissa AtLee

Why we do marriage preparation the way we do.

So here’s the deal about marriage: it’s really hard. Even when all the stars are aligned in your favor, it’s still hard. Even if you marry your 10/10, you adore each other’s families, you share the same faith and culture, your finances are in tip top shape, you agree on everything, and you can’t get enough of each other — it’s still hard. Why? Well, for starters, the scenario I just described in that massive run-on sentence is right out of a Hallmark movie and therefore removed from reality. The more realistic setup is that two lovely but flawed people fall in love, and after a period of dating, decide to commit to spending the rest of their lives together.

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Education, Family, Marriage, Self-care, Uncategorized

A New Year, A Big Change and a New Commitment

Melissa AtLee

Happy New Year! I can’t believe it’s been exactly one year since I last blogged. Life must have been crazy. It’s definitely been an emotionally challenging year, the reasons which I hope to share one day, once the dust has settled (does it ever settle in family life?). It has also been a year filled with changes, the major one being that I’m no longer homeschooling. Yup, you heard that right. After 14 years, we have made the difficult but hopefully right decision to send all the kids to school.

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Education, Marriage, Marriage Preparation

Marriage Preparation: Why do it?

Melissa AtLee
Photo by Seth Reese on Unsplash

As some of you know, my husband and I have been involved in teaching Marriage Preparation courses for almost as long as we’ve been married. At first we assisted a leader couple by giving the talks on sexuality, and after a number of years we felt confident enough to teach the course on our own. It’s rewarding and challenging, and we always feel honored to be a part of the beginning of these couples’ journey together.

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Marriage, Self-care

(Pycho)Therapy: Highly Recommend

Melissa AtLee
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

When I was younger, I used to have mixed feelings about therapy. Growing up, there was certainly a stigma and even skepticism surrounding mental health, with psychology and psychiatry considered the “soft” sciences. Basically, the way out of a bad mental health spell was to keep busy and use that willpower and all would be well.

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Marriage, My favorite things

Franz and Franziska Jagerstatter: A Beautiful Story of Marriage

Melissa AtLee

“Greetings in God, dearly beloved husband!“

“Greetings in God, most beloved wife and mother!“

The blessed couple on their wedding day in 1936. Source: Styria Verlag/Denver Catholic

Have you heard of the 2019 movie A Hidden Life? Written and directed by Terrence Malick, it tells the story of Franz Jagerstatter, an ordinary Austrian farmer who was caught on the wrong side of WWII. When Austria was annexed by Germany in 1938, young Franz was called away to military duty by the Nazi regime. During the months of military training and later imprisonment, Franz and his wife Franziska exchanged several letters. Following his training, the time came for Franz to swear an oath of allegiance to Hitler and the Nazi regime. Franz courageously followed his conscience and refused to sign the oath, even though he knew his decision meant certain death for him and much suffering for the young family he was leaving behind. Ultimately (spoiler alert), Franz was martyred for his beliefs in 1943. Franz is currently on his way to becoming a canonized saint in the Roman Catholic Church.

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Family, Kids, Marriage

The Perks of having Mom in bed

Melissa AtLee
This has pretty much been me for many, many weeks. Photo by Rex Pickar on Unsplash .

Confession: I have been at low-functioning capacity (ie. in bed a lot) for a combined total of 28 weeks in the past year and a half. While this state of affairs has not been ideal, I have had plenty of time to reflect that it hasn’t come without its blessings. Because, while it has been a period filled with anxiety, worry and suffering, it is undeniable that much fruit has been borne from the pain. Every cloud truly comes with a silver lining.

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Marriage, My favorite things

My Favorite Marriage Books

Melissa AtLee
Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

A happy, healthy marriage is one of the greatest sources of happiness on earth (for married people, that is). While each and every marriage is unique, there are fundamental truths – such as love, respect and sacrifice – which must be understood and lived in order to enjoy a lifelong, fulfilling relationship. I also believe that we all need help to succeed at marriage, whether it’s from family, friends, courses, blogs, podcasts, books or therapy. In this post I share with you my favorite marriage books; I hope they are as helpful to your marriage or future marriage as they have been to us.

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Marriage

Marriage Saver #6: Face the Issues with Honesty

Melissa AtLee
Source: Billy Abbott Cartoons.

Not too long ago I was listening to one of Jordan Peterson’s podcast episodes, “The World is your Oyster“, a recording from his lecture in Winnipeg, Manitoba. During the Q&A, Jordan Peterson confided that he and his wife had hard, vicious fights, often; however they were productive fights, as the point was to not have to have the fight again.

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Marriage

Wedded Bliss

Melissa AtLee
The beginning of a beautiful thing. I can’t believe I used to fit in that dress.

Today we celebrate 16 years of marriage. It’s our sweet sixteen anniversary! And it really has been sweet. And sometimes, not so sweet. And then sweet again.

I loved my wedding day. While I am an anxious worrywart by nature, I actually managed to relax and truly enjoy our special day. I felt that it was the peak of our existence and that nothing could possibly top the joy and happiness that we experienced that blessed day.

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